His Butler, Impoverished
by theknittingotaku
Summary: Black Butler meets RENT!
1. Chapter 1

Note: I own absolutely no rights to Black Butler or Rent.

Ciel Phantomhive rode his bike down the streets of New York City, where his beloved Bohemia would soon be destroyed. His camera was rolling, and he was looking for something, anything, to inspire his documentary. He pulled over next to where a homeless lady sat, huddling under her blankets. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm making a documentary and if I could have a bit of your time, could you-"

"Get your camera out of my face," she said, flipping him off. "I'm not looking for attention, I'm looking for cash."

"I'm sorry. I'm as broke as you are." Ciel hurried back to his bike.

"Then get the hell out of here," she snapped, pulling the blankets more tightly around her.

"Sorry," he mumbled. He got back to his "apartment" and ran upstairs. Bard was sitting there with his guitar, as usual.

"Get any new footage?" Bard asked, strumming a chord.

"Nope. Get any new inspiration?" Ciel answered back.

"Yeah, right." Bard got up and put down his guitar. "If only I could write just one good song, we'd be living it up."

"You've been saying that for two years now. Maybe you should just give up."

"Says the man running around with his video camera all the time."

"Touché." Ciel sat down on the rugged couch. "So, do you want to get something to eat later?"

Bard sighed. "Spotlight on my empty wallet. We're heating our home with my failed sheet music. How the hell are we supposed to get any food? We can't even pay the rent Lord Soma's now imposed on us."

"To think we used to be friends with that jerk."

Something hit against the window. Bard went to check it out.

"Hey, guys!" Sebastian called up. "Care for some company?"

"Sure!" Bard dropped the keys down to Sebastian. "Come on up." He went back inside. "It's Sebastian."

"Cool," Ciel answered.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was walking down the alley to the entrance when some gang members came up behind him. They beat him, stole his jacket, and left him bloody.

Sebastian couldn't get up. He lay there for a half hour, bleeding, when a man in a dress came up to him.

"Look at you, you're all beat up. What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked.

Sebastian choked out his name, blood coming to his lip.

"My name's Grell Sutcliff. I'm going to take care of you, honey." Grell picked up Sebastian and carried him home.


	2. Chapter 2

Ciel and Bard both sat in their apartment, waiting for Sebastian to visit.

"He's been down there an awfully long time. I wonder if something's wrong," Ciel commented.

"Let's go check it out," Bard said, putting his guitar down.

The two came out of their apartment, keeping a close eye out for Sebastian. However, instead of seeing him, they saw an all-too-familiar face.

"Lord Soma. What are you doing here?" Bard said.

"Just checking out the area for Curryland," he said, not making eye contact. "How's your girlfriend doing, Ciel? Are you and Ran-Mau still together, or did she finally leave you?"

"We are not together anymore," Ciel said to the ground.

Soma smirked. "So, what's his name?"

"Madame Red," Bard answered for him.

"What? You mean-" Soma couldn't say anymore; he was laughing too hard.

Ciel glared at Bard. "You couldn't've lied to him for me?" he mouthed. Bard shook his head, grinning.

Soma, finally regaining his composure, spoke once again. "So, how are you planning to pay your rent?"

"We can't. Nobody here can, and you know it. You went back on your promise to everyone here just so you can tear down the place and build your wondrous Curryland," Ciel said.

"This place deserves to be destroyed. It's getting in the way of progress." Bard scoffed at this. "Now, now. Don't be rude. I have a proposition for you, my old friends. Care to know what it is?"

Ciel looked to Bard, then to Soma, then back to Bard, who shrugged. "What is it?" he asked flatly.

"If you can get your friend, Ran-Mau, to call off the protest she's leading, I will call off both of your debts and you can live it up with me in Curryland," Soma said.

"You actually expect us to betray our friends just like that?" Bard asked, insulted.

"Come on. I want to be able to destroy this place without a menial protest getting in my way. You want to have a better life post-Bohemia. This way, both of our problems are solved."

"Never." Ciel stared him down.

"Fine, then," Soma went on, unfazed. "Enjoy your beloved Bohemia. It won't be around that much longer." He left, his high-end boots clicking against the ground.

"To think we were ever friends with that sorry excuse for a man," Ciel said. "Want to continue looking for Sebastian?"

"It's too cold. Let's go back inside and possibly warm ourselves by the light of your burning scripts," Bard answered.


	3. Chapter 3

Bard and Ciel were back at their apartment, still wondering where Sebastian had gone. Suddenly, the door swung open.

"I'm here!" Sebastian shouted, smiling and carrying a bottle of wine.

Ciel looked at Sebastian. "Where did you go?" he asked.

"And how did you manage to get that?" Bard inquired.

"Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Day, whose charity is only matched by talent, I must say," Sebastian answered, pouring out the wine. "A new member of the New York City avant-garde, Grell Du Mart Schunard!"

Then, Grell entered, dressed as Mrs. Claus and wearing zebra tights. "Today for you, tomorrow for me!" he shouted, handing wads of cash to Ciel and Bard.

"You earn this on the street?" Ciel asked.

"It was my lucky day today on Avenue A, when a lady in a limousine drove my way. She said, 'Darling, be a dear. I haven't slept in a year. I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear. This Akita, Evita, just won't shut up! I believe if you play nonstop, that pup will breathe its very last high-strung breath. I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death. We agreed on a fee, a thousand dollars guaranteed. Catch-free! And a bonus, if I trimmed her tree. Now who could foretell that it would go so well? But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell." Grell went on like that, telling the story of how his drumming killed Evita and how he met Sebastian.

"Well… Thanks, I guess," Ciel said.

"We have to be on our way," Sebastian told them.

"We're going to a support group," Grell said, looking at Bard. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Thanks, but I'll stay here," Bard said, taking another sip of wine.

There was a long silence.

"You know, it's not just for people with AIDS," Sebastian said to Ciel.

"I think I will come. I'll meet you there," he answered.

They said their good-byes, leaving Ciel and Bard together.

"Are you sure you don't want to go? Don't you want to have fun? It's Christmas!" Ciel said, trying to convince Bard to go.

"Sorry, but sitting around in a circle with people just like me and complaining about how miserable their lives are doesn't sound like fun," Bard said, not getting up.

Ciel sighed. "Fine, then. Just try to get out there and do something special. Christmas only comes once a year, you know."

"I'm not an idiot. I realize that. Could you just go?" Bard answered.

"Suit yourself," Ciel said, exiting.

Bard was happy to finally be left alone. Just then, there was a tap on the window.


End file.
